Octopus Mom

Life as a mom who has her hands full

Why Marriages End in Divorce

early half of all marriages will end in divorce. A frightening statistic and certainly one that can make you a little leery of walking down the aisle. But instead of focusing on how many marriages will end in divorce, maybe we should be focusing on WHY.

When two people get married, they promise to love, honor and cherish each other for all the days of their lives. But somewhere along the way, the road to happily ever after becomes a stumbling block of broken hearts, broken china, and broken vows. So what happened? In this age of fast speed, fast food, and fast cars, are we also looking for fast fixes?

The answer is undoubtedly a complicated one,  but there are several reasons marriages go bad. For starters, many people get married out of convenience. Somewhere in the twenties, women and men begin to feel the pressure to tie the knot. Well meaning friends and family members put pressure on a dating couple to ” take the next step” and get married. Many couples fall victim to such peer pressure and marry each other simply because it is the right time in their lives to get married. Instead of focusing on the right time to get married, you should be focusing on finding the right mate.

When you get married, you should be marrying your best friend. Someone you can talk to, confide in, and communicate with under any circumstances. Then when life throws you curve balls, you will have a solid foundation to fall back on. Too many marriages are built on superficial things that fade in time…sex, attraction, income. Inevitably, those things will fade away. Make sure you enjoy each other’s company first and foremost.

Another reason marriages fail is lack of communication. Too many couples maintain individual friends, individual bank accounts, and individual lives. While you do need to maintain your individual identity..too much “me” = not enough “us”. Couples that don’t do things together, or don’t share whole lives with each other begin to build walls between them. Once barriers are in place, communication begins to break down. Misunderstandings occur and more often than not you find yourself turning to your friends and co-workers for support instead of your spouse. Once day you wake up and realize that not only do you not need this person, you are perfectly happy living your life without your spouse…ANSWER: DIVORCE

If you manage to marry your best friend and you manage to maintain lines of communication as you remain married, you still may fall into the trap of forgiveness. Sometimes, even in good marriages, someone makes a mistake. After all, marriage is just a union between two PEOPLE who are nothing if not HUMAN. Sometimes that mistake may seem unforgivable, but more often than not, couples who are committed to each other can work through anything. Forgiveness is a difficult thing to accomplish, especially when you have been betrayed by the one person who is supposed to love you the most. But if you want to stay married, then you will have to work through it. You will have to find a way to forgive and move forward. Many couples do this by going to counseling and by renewing their vows to each other. If you want to stay married, then you will have to push through all that life brings..FOR BETTER OR WORSE.

There are no easy answers to staying married. Every couple is different, every relationship is unique. But if you are dedicated and devoted to your partner. Chances are you can weather any storm that blows your way. Marriage is hard work, patience, and dedication, but then again….anything worthwhile usually is.

7 comments on “Why Marriages End in Divorce

  1. I have just gone through a terrible time in my relationship.We split up and she would not talk with me no matter what I did..I tried everything,but I discovered that I was doing things the wrong way.. My relationship was saved by a website! who would have guessed

  2. Dave
    October 24, 2008

    Amazing! I have read countless articles on various websites, and your summarization is 100% accurate. Finally, someone understands marriage. I agree 100% with the reference to pressure from outside friends and family to get married, that happens all the time, without even taking into account whether the couple is actually happy. Why let someone else determine if you are ready for marriage? Great work! keep it going! Thanks!

  3. I dont usually reply to posts but I will in this case. Good Stuff – Nice relationship Ideas too:)

  4. Affair Detective
    November 9, 2009

    Hello Guru, what entice you to post an article. This article was extremely interesting, especially since I was searching for thoughts on this touchy subject since last Thursday.

  5. Catching Cheats
    November 9, 2009

    I’m searching for sites related to making relationships work and yours came up, this is helpful content, even though on a side track. TY.

  6. Iwa
    April 2, 2010

    I read this part of the article and was so blown away.

    Too many couples maintain individual friends, individual bank accounts, and individual lives. While you do need to maintain your individual identity..too much “me” = not enough “us”. Couples that don’t do things together, or don’t share whole lives with each other begin to build walls between them. Once barriers are in place, communication begins to break down.

    This sounds so much like my husband. It is so sad as I share everything with him but he maintains his own bank account. I earn more but it is not right that I pay the morgage all the utilities and the insurances. His money is purely for himself.
    He is always so critical of everything.
    I know I would be better off by myself.

  7. Tavon
    June 5, 2012

    Your article is very interesting and although it sounds good enough there do comes a time in life when you have let go. Yes I’m all for trying to make thing work but once that clock stop ticking what are your other options? Why must sit up here and fight for something that not even worth fighting for any more? I’ve been in this marriage game and yes I said game for several years and all I was able to get out of it is pain & high blood pressure. Now what type of reward is that? Like I said it all sounds good but when it’s time to go then it’s time to go!

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This entry was posted on July 26, 2008 by in Just for Fun articles and tagged , , , , , , , , .

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